Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Heavy heart....

I have had a heavy heart all weekend.  The shootings in CT of innocent children and teachers has me just sickened.  I can't even imagine what they are going through, and I really don't even want to imagine it.  When I see their little faces it makes me want to sob with what could have been for them.  I take a look at my own children and I am so glad to have them with me all the time and to be able to hug them and tell them how much I love them.  I am not sure why people do such evil things, it's confusing and horrible.  I hope the parents can find some way to deal with the pain they are going through.  I am not sure what I would do or how I would handle it and hopefully I never will have to.

On Sunday, Dec. 16th I celebrated (yes celebrated) 1 year since my diagnosis.  On that day 1 year ago I seriously thought my life was over!  Or at least it would never be the same again and not in a good way.  I can say that reflecting on the past year, I am so thankful for modern medicine and for the love and support of friends and family.  I was crying on this day 1 year ago, and this year I am happy.....happy to be ALIVE and kicking and to be able to torture those who need it!!! 

Yesterday I got my nipple reconstructed.  It was a surprise how quick and easy it was.  He basically just took and cut a criss cross then sewed it into one big blob of a circle to make the nipple.  Easy peasy!!!  I didn't feel a thing since I can't feel anything anyway on that side.  But it looks NASTY!!  It's so gross!  It takes 3 months to heal, then I can get the areola tatooed on and he will most likely color the nipple in also.  I asked him about dead person nipple...not only did he laugh about it, he said there is a procedure where they do that and it costs twice as much and it is not nearly as successful!  How ironic!  Glad I don't have dead person nipple....only my own!!

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