Taxol Chemo - Round 5 - DID NOT HAPPEN!

I went in for chemo today and got my port flushed and blood drawn.  When the dr. saw my labs I was given a week reprieve from chemo as my red blood cell count was too low to continue another round and they wanted to give me a break to see if it would come back up.  I almost had a heart attack as I thought he was going to say I needed a blood transfusion and that is something that I have been afraid of since I started the whole process.  So sadly, I think this will put me a week behind schedule :(  But I guess if my body can't handle it then a break it is for me!  Tomorrow morning I have to fast and go to the Iowa Falls hospital and get my blood drawn to see if I have a B12 deficiency or anything wrong with my heart.  I am betting it's the chemo making it low and I have also been acting like I don't have cancer lately and doing WAYYYYY too much, so I probably better act like a sick person and take it easy.   That is going to be  hard since I have been feeling so good lately.  I have been extremely fatigued though in the past couple of days, so I should have known something was not right.  Cancer bites!

Don't forget to join Kristi and I at Relay for Life Hardin County on June 1st at the South Hardin Track in Eldora.  We will have our "I'm Too Sexy For My Hair" tent there and we will be there with refreshments and our smiling faces....bald heads and all!  Don't forget to bring your lawn chairs and coolers and warm clothing in case it gets cold.  I am glad it won't be too hot as I would be a "sweaty Betty" and no one wants to witness that.  Kristi and I will give our speeches later on that evening so come out and join us and buy all kinds of fundraising items to help support the cure for cancer!! 

Also, I have the "I'm Too Sexy for My Hair" t-shirts if you ordered one, please pick them up before Friday or I will also have them at our tent.  The cost is $14 each.  See you soon!

Also...please pray for Bonnie Nyce. She is the the hospital in Dubuque with a perforated bowel and was in the ICU.  I have heard she is doing much better but she still needs our daily doses of prayers to make her as good as new.  Praying for you Bonnie....get well soon so I can tell you a good joke in person.  (you have to see my facial expressions during the joke to truly appreciate the humor...)

Taxol Chemo - Round 4

Yesterday was chemo and I can report it gets better all the time. Dianna Haywood took me to this appointment and I was kept laughing by all her family and friend stories. It sounds like there is never a dull moment in that house!!  She also took me out to eat to Carlos O'Kelly's -- yum...and I could taste it!!  I have been having problems for a few weeks now not being able to taste very many things so it's been frustrating.  Most people that have the taste problem usually lose a lot of weight as they feel since they can't taste anything, they just don't eat.....well NOT ME!!!  I just keep eating, then trying another thing to eat,then another...hoping I will taste something!! It never works and I end up gaining 5 lbs.....man....cancer sucks!

To all of you that ordered tshirts from me (I'm Too Sexy for My Hair t-shirts) I have them at my house...cost is $14 per shirt.  Just call me or text me to let me know you are coming so I can put a hat on....my bald head is not for the human eye!!!  LOL!

T-shirts

I am going to have the t-shirts at my house by this evening (Tues May 22nd).  If you get a chance to stop over and pick them up this week that would be great.  I will not be home on Thursday night this week as we have to turn in our money and pick up the Relay for Life t-shirts that night.  If you ordered a Relay for Life T-shirt also, I will have those too at my house by Thursday night (May 24).  I will be swimming in t-shirts so come and get them from me.  Call or text first so I know when you are coming...and try not to breathe on me!! LOL!!

Tshirt pick up

For those of you who ordered t-shirts, we originally were going to have a pick up on Monday May 21st at Kristi Myers house.  We are not going to do it then as Kristi is not going to be home!  So I will post again in the next day or so as to when the t-shirts can be picked up.

Taxol Chemo - Round 3

This last chemo I was completely knocked out....zonked.  My sister took me to this one and I warned her I would be good to converse with for about 20 minutes or so before I started to slur my words...I think it only took me 10 minutes.  And my sister fell asleep too, so that tells you how boring it is!!  LOL --- It was great to have my sister take the day off so she could take me. We had alot of fun....once we woke up!! We ate lunch then did a bit of shopping (I am still a shopaholic, much to my husband's dismay)  I don't think it's really the money I spend, (well I am sure that has something to do with it) but it's my heaping closet that he doesn't like, as well as the totes, and bags of clothes.....he thinks I am a clothes hoarder and he may be right but I would never admit that to him.  I love clothes and shoes...it's as simple as that!  Hey, I already had to give up drinking, smoking, and hair management....I think I am allowed this last bit of fun that I can actually do!!!

So my sister got educated on the chemo process.  We were laughing about my sparse eyebrows and they have sort of turned an ugly shade of gray so they are a bit weird looking.  My sister said she wished she would have kept the hair that she donated to the locks of love so she could have given it to me so that I could make a wig out of it.  My sister's hair is SUPER thick and if I can't wear the Jacklyn Smith ultra-lite wiglet.....then I could never wear my sister's thick human hair....I am already sweltering thinking about it.  And really, human hair kind of grosses me out....even if it is a relatives hair.  Ick.

The I'm Too Sexy for My Hair, Team Laurie and Kristi t-shirts came in.  We are having a pick up time of Monday night (May 21st) at Kristi's house starting at 5:30pm.  If you are unable to pick up your shirt at that time, please let us know so we can make other arrangements.  Can't wait to see alot of you at Relay for Life...thanks for donating and supporting the team!

Happy Mother's Day (well yesterday...)

A belated Happy Mother's Day to all you mother's out there...and hey, we deserve it! Yesterday my darling son and daughter gave me a photo frame with a couple of pics in it of me and my kids....the frame said "Live, Laugh, Love...." of course I bawled (in private)- I think it scares Palmer to see me cry.  It was so touching and although I have a sneaking suspicion that my mother had something to do with it, I am so grateful to be my kids' mother. 

We went to eat lunch at the Pizza Ranch which was really nice.  Hadley had a great time eating hundreds of green beans and dropping mashed potatoes down her front.  It was good to get out of the house, but I am still a bit paranoid of germs.  I am petrified I will get sick.  I think I just have a phobia right now and hopefully it will go away after chemo.  I must admit, I understand those weirdos now that won't leave their house.  I hope I never become one of them....but I do understand.  I think too many people would miss me if I never left my house.....HA!!!

I also got another gift yesterday...everyone left me alone for a couple of hours so I could have a nap....while I never did fall asleep, I certainly enjoyed the vegging time....so thanks hubby and kids, I appreciate it!

Taxol Chemo - Round 2

I am happy to report that I am HALF-WAY through my treatments as of yesterday!! Woo hooooooo!!! Only 10 more weeks to go! Once again I was unable to blog again yesterday as the Benadryl they give me before the Taxol knocks me out!! Then the Taxol wakes me up as it gives me "early labor type" pains in my legs and stomach...I know yuck right???!!! But once the treatment is over, I don't feel that anymore, other than really tired and hungry! I guess that is a good thing. Yesterday I signed Palmer up for 5th and 6th grade football....which he loves! We have to sign them up now so they can get equipment ordered. Palmer cannot wait. It starts in August and I am so happy I won't be doing chemo anymore so that will help in running him around here and there for football. It's funny how I gauge everything on if I will be having chemo or won't be having chemo...maybe I am starting to look at making plans again....that's a good sign. Kristi Myers and I have team t-shirts that we are going to order for our Relay for Life team. Please let me know by tomorrow 5/11 if you want one cuz I have to order them ASAP to get them in by June 1st. I think they will be around $15 or so. They are awesome!

I jinxed myself!

Ok, yes I am 42 years old and I still believe in the "Jinx"....I probably always will. If I say something at the same time as someone else I always yell JINX! Even now I do it and my son looks at me like I am crazy! Evidently they don't do that anymore at school, nor do they have cooties or other childhood made-up games. I guess we were a bit more imaginative. But I jinxed myself by talking about how good I felt after chemo on Wednesday. I guess the Benadryl wore off cuz I felt poopy on Saturday...all day. But I was better on Sunday. So I will take one day of feeling crappy over the last round of nasty chemo. Even though I did jinx myself, I am hoping it's only for one day a week. I can sooooo deal with that, but not the cooties.

Phase II Chemo - Taxol Round 1

I didn't post yesterday because I was too sleepy at chemo!! They give you a bag of Benadryl which knocked my butt out!! Taxol has so far been pretty good to me. Dr. Yoda said that is would be a "piece of cake" compared to the last stuff I had so I found that to be very reassuring. And knock on wood, but I feel just fine today, the DAY after chemo!! Who would have thunk it???? I am so glad too, I feel like a productive member of society now!! I will continue to lose hair, not that I have much left but I am hoping to retain my eyelashes and eyebrows, but I don't think that will happen.....I am not looking forward to returning to my nickname "Lashless Laurie". I lost my eyelashes one summer in a drinking accident....don't ask, we'll just keep it as simple as that. And everyone called me Lashless Laurie that summer and I didn't enjoy the nickname. But I have to admit it was kind of funny! We are attempting to get our own team t-shirts made for Relay for Life. They will say "I'm Too Sexy for my Hair" so if you have not signed up online, let me or Kristi Myers know if you would like to be on our team so we can order you a t-shirt, ASAP! Cuz we need to order them soon! Relay for Life is June 1st from 11am - 11pm, South Hardin Track in Eldora.

I Look Like......

I have decided who I remind myself of with my bald head. That annoying pre-school cartoon character who Palmer use to watch all the time on Iowa Public Television and now who Hadley just loves....CAILOU! I remember watching that show with Palmer and I had a hard time with that character and his little whiney voice....it was worse than Barney! I use to tell Palmer that the cable wasn't working sometimes just to avoid watching that show!! I know, I lied to my poor little child!! But I needed some sanity! Isn't it ironic how karma has now blasted me in the butt for doing that with me being Cailou's twin now and all......gotta love karma.

Just a little poison......

I am happy to report that I am feeling better.  Not 100% by any means but a lot better than the past few days.  I told my father-in-law this morning that if I had to go back this Wednesday and get that nasty chemo (I call it the RED-DEVIL, cuz the chemo is red) that he would have to go get his horse's bridle and a rope and drag me in that way cuz I wouldn't GO!!!  But I go this Wednesday for what is called Taxol chemo.  It should be better in two ways....1.)  It's only 1 drug!  2.)  It is not suppose to be as strong and causes less side effects.  So now instead of a mass poisoning my body, I will just get poisioning in my body.  I guess I'll take any plus side that I can get!  Oh.....and I can add a 3rd bonus....no more Neulasta shots the day after chemo.  Halleluejah!!!  That will help a ton!

So Tues/Wed --midnight, I have to take 5 pill of steroids. Then at 6am on Wed of chemo I have to take 5 more.  They make you do that so that you don't have a violent allergic reaction to the taxol, in case you are allergic to it.  I am not sure which is worse.....the roid rage or the allergic reaction??? Just kidding.  I don't have roid rage.....just mom rage.  I sure hope that if I do have the allergic reaction that it happens there while I am close to medical attention.  I don't want to scare my kids with my eyes swollen shut and my tongue hanging out of my mouth!

Thank you again to everyone that has called, emailed, FB, sent cards, text.  I haven't felt much like talking or getting back to anyone but I will soon.  Just needed some down time.  I love you all and hopefully will be out and about seeing all of you soon!

I use to be a Planner.....

I quit making plans.  I think it started this week.  For the first time in my life I quit planning what happens next in my life as well as my family's life.  I am a total planner too.  I use to have almost every weekend planned.  Now I don't plan anything because I am too afraid of being sick, and I HATE it.  I have been avoiding people too, my friends and family.  I don't want to be around them when I am sick...how depressing.  I feel sorry for my kids and my husband cuz I feel like such a burden on them and I know that is wrong to feel on so many levels but it's what breast cancer has made me feel like and it is depressing and you do go to dark places. I really hate chemo and am having panic attacks about having to go to my next one, even though I know it is the start of the "better" chemo and not the really bad one.  So I am having a bad, feel sorry for myself day.  BUT, I am going to grab a tissue, wipe my eyes, blow my nose and pick out a bigger pair of underwear......cuz it's time I put my BIG GIRL PANTIES on and get better.

Relay for Life....More info!

Tam Elerding who does a super job with coordinating Relay for Life and works her bootie off for it, asked me to post this on my blog and I was more than happy to oblige.....

Hello Hardin County Relay For Life Team Captains!!

Next week we will be ordering t-shirts, please turn in  your team’s t-shirt sizes to Tam Elerding by Wednesday, April 25th by 5:00pm. Call or text Tam at 515.689.2352 or e-mail her at tsbytam@netins.net  (Team members are eligible for a t-shirt with the imprint pictured above if they have raised $50 or more for the relay.)

We have 43 days for each team member to raise at least $50 – I am very confident each one can do it!

Did you know that there are going to be 120 NEW cases of cancer in Hardin County this year. We are walking and fighting for those people suffering from cancer right here in Hardin County.
Need some quick and fun fundraising ideas?? Attached are some ideas that will help your team be a top fundraising team this year! Every dollar we raise we take a step towards more birthdays and less cancer!  “Happy Birthday is our Victory Song”
Bank Night is scheduled for Thursday, May 24th from 5pm-7pm at Hardin County Savings Bank in Eldora. Come turn in all of your fundraising dollars, pick up your incentive sheets, get any of those last minute Relay questions answered and pick up t-shirts for those team members who raised $50 or more!
THANK YOU so much for all of the work you do. The money you raise help people in your communities beat cancer!
 Celebrating Birthdays!


Tam Elerding
PO Box 233
Hubbard, IA  50122
515-689-2352
www.relayforlife.org/hardincountyia
Relay For Life of Hardin County
Friday, June 1, 11:00 am to 11:00 p.m.
All night vigil until Saturday, June 2, 5:00 a.m.

Chemo - Round 4!

This is my last NASTY chemo, so I am excited! I still have 12 more weeks of a less nasty drug.  I will go every week starting May 2nd.  I should not be as sick on this next drug, so am really looking forward to that!  Dianna Haywood is my driver today for chemo and is with me getting educated on the chemo process. We are also laughing so hard about her family and my family....what a hoot.  It's been nice talking about the old days and my days in Union and having fun at the golf course in Union.  We have all had some very memorable and fun times that's for sure!!  Dianna and Deanna, who are twins have been like big sisters to me for many years.  I have two older brothers and one younger sister so it's been really nice having them in my life, especially when I made some really dumb decisions.....and I made many!! LOL!  Dianna and I talked about our fathers who have been gone but not forgetten for 10 years and 5 years respectively.   I miss them both so much.  My dad would have been so proud of how far I have come and my choice of husband and children.  He would have loved Hadley, as he loved Palmer with the time he spent with him.  He would love watching Palmer play football, even though his advice would be to hit the other kids in the knee caps...yeah he liked to play dirty!!!  And I miss Buster, Di and De's dad.  I have such a special place in my heart for him.  He always made me feel like I had the world by the tail and I could do anything I wanted to do if I put my mind to it....and he was right.  He was such a fun guy with a huge heart.  So Di and I had a good time and she also took me to lunch as well as bringing supper for me so she really gets a gold star for the day!

Music Concert Tonight

Palmer has a music concert tonight....which he told me about last night around 8:30pm.  Luckily, I am use to this as I have passed on the procrastination gene to my dear son, so he comes by it honestly.  He has been practicing the guitar with his music teacher so I am curious to see what kind of performance he will do.  One thing about Palmer is that he can sing, but he doesn't want anyone to know it and he really doesn't like an audience so we will have to get my phone charged so I can video some of it.  I am kind of excited to see the performance now!  The last time I heard him sing, it was when he was showering as he always belts out a concert for us, mainly because he doesn't know we are listening.  I should video tape that too, not him in the shower!  But of the musical performance....it's a hoot to listen too!

I Feel Good....Na Na Na Na Na Na Nat

I knew that I would now.........Na Na Na Na Na Na Nat......so good, umph, upmh.....so good umph, umph

Ok, I do feel good...maybe not "James Brown" good, but pretty darn good.  I am glad to be over the nastiness for a while at least.  So for the next few days I have decided to put cancer on the back burner!  I am going to talk about better things than that!

Summer plans.  I have none yet, but I am going to get me some!  LOL  --- hopefully we can do a little traveling with the little one.  Palmer will be in Alabama with his dad by the beginning of June.  I will miss him.  He's so mature and funny and really witty.  I like that about it him, he's fun to converse with.  (when he's not being mouthy)  I know he loves going down there and visiting his family but I can't help but miss the little critter when he's gone.  I would love to go to Adventureland this year but I have found as I age I get sick on anything that goes even 180 degrees around and that I may lose my $10 hamburger that I just had bought and eaten there.  But you gotta love Adventureland!  I can go on the roller coasters though, for some reason those don't bother me.  I will just have to wear a hat with a chin strap.  Might as well put me in a helmet and a scooter while you are at.

Relay for Life 2012

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY12MW?px=27208228&pg=personal&fr_id=38592

Here is the link to donate and/or join my Team!!!  Would love to have you! 

Back at work today, I feel like a normal person finally!!  Although I have only had a few hours sleep...yes insomnia last night.....darn it's hard getting old!!! LOL!!  I needed to exercise my brain though, I am getting so stupid!  And blind, and hard of hearing.  I swear the chemo is affecting my brain cells and I really don't have many to spare anymore!!  I use to be so on the ball and now I have Palmer correcting me because I can't think of the right word or I said something really stupid!! LOL!!  Oh well I should not worry about it, it's only going to get worse!  Hopefully my brain can recuperate though, I don't think I can handle being stupid the rest of my life.

I cannot lie......

When I decided to write the blog, I knew that I wanted to tell you how things were going, not in complete detail (believe me, you do NOT want to know all the details!! LOL!) but I vowed to myself I would "keep it real."  Starting Friday I have felt like complete and utter....well CRAP.   No other way to describe it.  The chemo really got to me and I felt the effects.  I saw the look in Mike and my mom's eyes when they looked at me and I knew I looked as bad as I felt.  You could tell they were shocked by my appearance.  I do now look like a cancer patient....whatever in anyone's mind that might look like....but in my mind I am the perfect stereotype of what I think they look like.   But DO NOT feel sorry for me....I would hate that.  In my mind....this poison is WORKING!!!  That keeps me going.   It's zapping me while it's zapping the cancer.  So keep emailing, texting, calling, facebooking, mailing cards.  I love to read everything everyone writes. 

On a more fun note....Kristi Myers and I were named the Honorary Co-chairs of the Hardin  County Relay for Life on June 1st.  What an honor for the both of us.  We get to give speeches...wow, I'm really gonna hate that!  HA!

Yoga......

Y = You

O = Oh

G = Goodness

A = Aren't

FLEXIBLE LAURIE!!!!

I decided to try some yoga yesterday a few hours after chemo because I have heard it helps with nausea, muscle soreness and fatigue.  I was definitely willing to try it if it could ease those symptoms.  So I got out my yoga mat, brushed off the dust and began. To my pleasant surprise it did help ease the nausea and helped with my breathing.  It also felt good to stretch my body a little bit.  But I am so NOT flexible at all!!  I have realized how out of shape my body actually is.  But at least I was trying with baby steps.  During the work-out I would skip the ones I knew I would never get out of once I was in the pose!  So I opted for the easier more relaxing ones.  I am going to keep trying it as it did make me feel a bit better and who knows, maybe I will be able to touch my toes again!!

The yoga did not help me sleep though, unfortunately.  I have luggage under my eyes...not bags...luggage.  I just couldn't get a good nights rest.  I guess it's because I feel like I have the flu and I don't sleep well when I feel sick.  Today I got get my Neulasta shot which will make me hibernate so hopefully I will lose that luggage like the airport!!  (sorry couldn't resist!)

I finally got a smart phone, so have been posting a lot more to facebook.  Thank you to all of you for your love and support.  I read every one of your posts and have been overwhelmed by the love, prayers and support of all my family and friends.  I am so grateful to you all.  God Bless you!

Chemo - Round 3

Mike and I are at chemo right now, doesn't Mike look really enthused?? LOL!  They are running a bit late today as there are a ton of us getting chemo or blood treatments today.  Poor nurses!!  They are running their little booties off!  I am glad the weather has cooled off  a little as I am not sweating on my bald head, which is really gross I might add.  I am quite comfortable in a do rag and ball cap.  Mike is sitting here pretty bored actually.  I think he would be much more happy in a deer stand, sitting there with nothing to do.  Go figure.